Lagos Palm Trees

Even though I grew tired of the many faces
The emotions misplaced and redirected
The regurgitated trauma of generations
being passed down to the youth

I will never forget the warmth of the setting sky
The calls and cries of drunken men to their friends
The laughing mothers, happy to forget the pain of their men
The vendors pleased to have our service, to make money
that will be ill or well spent

The stroy-tellingĀ and laughter of my friends
As different types of burnt grass linger in the air
The cajoling and pushing
Physical touch stifling and comforting
The taste of fermented fruit on our tongues
And the slurs of satisfaction and dissatisfaction alike
clearing and clouding the air

We look up
We all see different things
The day ending and the heat of night coming
Mosquitoes plaguing
Palm trees swaying
Purple hues of pink skies swirling

The fear of a painful death or a penniless life
lies at the foot of our fears
But in each other we find comfort and agitation
that a new day may bring new freedoms or constraints

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Reflections On Truth

The words escape me
I cannot find who I am

I see the shadow but I cannot chase her
As she is always one step ahead of me

I see her being reflected in the glass but she is in chains
Being held accountable for all that she has not gained

I beg the mirror to release her as blood spills onto those rusted chains

The mirror laughs and says
“It’s not me that has trapped her but it has been you, this whole time.
Are you not ashamed”

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Undine

Even when I rise up from the abyss
Like the Queen of the Damned
I shall not know my place
And will choose to vacate any place that moves me
Wherever the water takes me
I’ll let it breathe right through me
And bring me to life

Even when I am near death
And seaweed hangs from my head
My hair loc’ing and molding
I shall simply cut it off

I have no more place for burdens.

For I have been to the earthy rocks and the mountains
Only to see the rock hard and I am not like them
Pushing obstacle off of cliffs, instead of bypassing them

So I went to the other half of me, The Sea
And understood I needed to breathe from within
To not allow my mind to drown me

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Anxiety Time Machine

Constantly running
Running to or from the shame
The fear of fame begets me, the fear of fortune found me
All that Dead Girl Theory surrounds me

I don’t want to become a corpse too.

So shall I run? Or become a slave because shame begets me? Toiling for a witch like an unskilled mage

Ex-lovers haunting me
But they’re not quier dead
For goodness sake
Don’t let them find me
For I am ashamed my beauty is fake
Or to see realistically, how quickly my glass house can break

Platform after platform
Trains, undergrounds and buses
They’re all coming to fast now
I can’t concentrate

Fear of being exposed as a fraud surrounds me
They’ve sent the Gestapo to get me
The gunshots go off arround me
But I am still alive. Still breathing.

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Asylum of the Night

Broken in a ways that they can’t detect the pain
It comes to me at night
I try to sleep in vain

Silently walking through the streets
In my mind
But my body gives me away
A fight for time

“I solemnly swear to try and stop breaking” goes my old melodic saying

It’s never quite fulfilled
Then I wear the shadow of shame
A beautiful coat that others see as game

 

My throat clogs up when I try to explain this saying
My eyes well up when I realise all my cuts are in the way

I pray for a tongue that can explain the pain
Away away
I can’t keep up with the saying
My flesh is weak and all it knows is betrayal

My darting eyes cannot disguise the weight of this cloak
I’m out of time

And in mother’s womb I pray and pray
That I should never awake and face this doom

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Melodies of Hope

The song lyrics of a new life plays a new hope in my mind
Hallucinations of happiness and peace combined
Auditory fantasies of laughter that leads to tears

Of walking through dreams only to realise you can really eat and drink
To truly live in a bliss that does not require perfection

What a charmed life that would be
To truly let go of this cloak of depression

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Abandoned Lovers and Wasted Dreams

“The nights of running through the metallic green forest, has come to an end

Knees bloodied

I plead with the Grand Tree to release me of all my inequities
To feed me fruit, so I will no longer be weak
Provide me shelter, so the creatures will no longer attack me

For I have left many lovers
And now I have no one to nurse me back to health
I have no one to protect me in this hell
I feared the light of their love
And abandoned the ways of the Siren’s sea”

I craved an innate solidarity

So please oh, Old Tree
Protect Me

The Tree opened up and embraced her.

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Mispelled Pleasure

You may not be in love
But you’re hypnotised
Hooked the moment your eyes met my waist

The roll of my hips
The softness of my bottom lip, the flick of the top
The weight of my legs

You fell under my spell
And I fell for the feel of your hands and touch of your skin
The rise of your chest and the grunt of your breath
As my leg hung mid-air
I realised I could not control this spell
And the curse of Want that was to follow

All control was lost and I began to fall for my own spell

I began to beg
For my leg to wrap around your waist
To feel your lips on my neck
I became weak in ecstasy all because of you

All in want of you.

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Sacrifices

Who would have thought
Ecstasy and euphoria
Would make me forget
The ground below
Would make me forget
The cold of beautiful snow

To float in the clouds is bliss
Until one remembers they are hungry
You cannot use aether to quench your hunger

Dancing till your feet are tired?
Joyful until you complain
Of arthritis in your old age

Eating rich till your heart is satisfied
But that same pleasure
Can cause that very same heart to die

Love has a price to pay
And there are sacrifices to be made

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Stoicism

I didn’t allow the wind to move me

I refused to flow with the water surrounding me

I detested the fire that attempted to refine me

And so I became as stoic as a rock
Then the Earth swallowed me up.

 

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