Tag Archives: Sadness

Epidemic

It starts off small
Just a patch on my chest

Then it slowly grows over my arms
and up to my neck

I cover it up
Nothing to see here
There is nothing anyone can do about it
There is nothing there

As it spreads over my back
I laugh louder

Then it takes over my legs
I start to feel it

My hands are beginning to show it
So my face grows more vacant

As I sleep, I toss and turn
Only to wake up and to truly see it

It has swallowed my body whole
Completely engulfed it

How shall I find a way
to keep this secret
When even I cannot ignore it?

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Forest of Lost Dreams

As I stand before the lover of my dreams
He tucks a stray braid behind my ear
And takes in my aura

The sun sets behind him
Making me even warmer
A tepid flood is felt making its way down my inner thighs

This feeling is familiar yet more beautiful than before

And my eyes widen, for fear I may actually want this love

So I turn my back on the warm sunset

And run through this jungle of a forrest
Barefoot and naked

Feet bleeding and foreign animals preying
I run deeper, till the trees deject the sun from this ill forsaken coven

As I stop to gather my breath
I notice areas of my body had the skin torn
Yet the pain compares not to my fear of what could have been born

This darkness is familiar
The blood that I have shed brings me no respite however

It simply reminds me of the warmth of my lover that I chose to abandon
Instead choosing sharp stones and dark trees
And preying animals that go unseen

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Prodigal Love

Like a fallen hero

You turn to vices and weapons of mass destruction you once shunned and left for villains

 

Wandering to all corners of the globe

Committing crimes in order to fill the missing pieces of your soul

 

But it’s in tatters now

 

Like a pedestrian dragged beneath the wheels of an awol trailer truck

 

Remnants of who you were remain

A phantom of your former self

 

So you go looking in the deepest crevices of the earth in hopes the darkness may hold clues that can fix you

Vices that can make you feel whole again

 

But you see, you were never a villain and heroes and heroines have always been your next of kin

 

So we search for you

 

Your family of justice

For we care for you

 

And wish to bring you from these destructive vices that may feel fill your soul but we can see they secretly eat at your world

 

Leaving you like a derelict factory with your walls stripped out and steel beams exposed

 

You don’t realise your humanity was your soul

 

But we’ll search for it with you, if you’ll let us come close…

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A Rose In Your Chest…

It’s the voices that plague you

That don’t allow you to relax and breathe

That reminds you of the level of imperfection in your life and creates a pain in your left breast

The voices that reminds you of the lovers that left

The family that are bereft

And the friends that are tired of your stress.

 

Blood trickles out from your ears as you explore your illegal vices

 

Mind burning – A fascinating headache, made beautiful by this inebriation

All in the name of staying strong, your mind goes soft

Slowly turning to mush

And so you handle life in a rush.

 

Erratic turns of your head

As you feel the weight of society in a crush.

Overwhelmed and unfulfilled, you go looking for love.

 

Often finding yourself trapped in a closet, unable to breathe

A self-imposed claustrophobic dream…

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Her Neck Kisses

Changing faces

Different places

Varied lips to kiss and types of laughter

Yet the same feelings remain…

Running to your freedom but only ending up in more pain

A dimpled smile

A twinkle in the eyes that could kill

She’s trained herself for these moments

Her own warped destiny

Of many lovers but to never feel the power of her own love

Even on her knees, head on the floor

Giving the dead her tears

She wonders if she’s found the one that would her let breathe

Maybe she’d get back the measure of her love,

Finally

Yet even Eve laughs and says “Do not be so easily deceived”

These men don’t fall to far from the tree

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Light Vampire

Sometimes I’d rather just be in this place

Where everything means nothing to me

Where everything is but a distant stifling memory

But in the dark I can feel, in the dark I can kill all of the false  that mutes me and makes me more ill

No false pretences , no more pills

My over empathy kills only me, for everyone else it seems to cure all their woes

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As He Sleeps…

As he lies there to go to sleep
She lies there awake
Dwelling and bearing the iniquities of both their sin
She lays there with her stomach filled with seed
Thinking
Laying
Waiting
For what will come of her next.
From the beginning of time she has beared the sin of both of them, all due to her desire to love and be loved.
She will be blamed for a magnitude of sins
Even those committed against her
Her desire for this thing called love will lead her astray into the depths of the abyss.
She may be lost forever
Or there could be one who may find her
And uplift her
Crown her with jewels soo expensive, yet in their eyes, can still not measure up to her worth.
As the stresses and burdens of life overwhelm her, she will be upheld by this one
Clothed by him, to hide her nakedness and her shame
The shame that she has hid for years
For every hair that has lengthened, changed colour and fell off
She has hid this shame in her bosom
Letting many see it, but having only the one rescue her from it.

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Just thought I’d say…

Well, recently I turned 20. And boy! Do I feel old!

But not just because of my age, but because all the lessons I have learned and experienced through the two decades that is my life.

I’ve been through ENORMOUS change in the past year, and just thought I’d share some of the lessons that Yahweh has given me the privilege to learn and understand, so I’m gonna share some wise words of wisdom that life has taught me.

First of all, follow your destiny.

As hard as it seems, I promise you, that when you are on the path that has been set out for you byTthe Holy One, The Universe will begin to work in your favour. I was greatly inspire by Paul Coelho’s book ‘The Alachemist‘. This book helped me understand certain things in life will seem like the greatest obstacles, but if you truly discern and be meek, you will find your way to your destination with the help of The Universe, Goodness and Mercy with you every step of the way.

Second, let go of the past.

The past has got to be one of the most significant hindrances I have come across in human beings.

The inability to let the past go will not only hinder your progress, but may even make you regress, or as Lot’s Wife found out, could lead to your destruction.

You see when Lot’s wife looked back at Sodom, she was taking the easy way out. Succumbing to something called Slough. Even in Literature, as seen in John Milton’s Paradise Lost, Belial (Slough) just wants to give up and dwell in the pits of hell, and in some ways we have that option too. It’s what we call in everyday life ‘fight-or-flight’. I believe that in keeping things bottled up in your mind from the past, bitter emotions, memories, situations, they lead to a negative aura, which in effect causes you to dwell in your crap (like Belial wanted too), ending in a negative mindset, which is not healthy for one’s mental well-being.

The Universe attracts what you attract, so if you hope, pray and love, your life will inherit the fruits of all these seeds you sow (I’m not gonna tell you the story about The Sower, I’m sure you already know that lol). However, this means that if you harbor pessimism, spiritual neglect and fear, you will in turn bear these fruits. Well, I hope you do the former and not the latter ^_^

That was long innit? lol

Thirdly, trials are gonna come mate. Deal with it.

Lot’s Wife wanted The Easy Way Out, so The Universe gave it to her. She was instructed to look forward, but she worried about the hardships she would face and her procrastination cost her her destiny.

If every time we gave up when an obstacle came along, I’m sure The Human Race wouldn’t have done so well to you know, survive and all that. At the end of the day it’s survival of the fittest, so you gotta step up spiritually, mentally and physically. Don’t let your destiny slip by you because you’re too scared to fight.

Lastly, aiming specifically at my amazing Eve-like creatures.

In the past two years, I have taken my sexuality and gender into consideration (I’M NOT SAYING SEXUALITY LIKE SEX YOU DIRTY PEOPLE LOL) an what it means to be a ‘woman’.

I mean, ever since I was young I was aware of Patriarchy, or women having to act like men in order to receive the equal amount of respect and recognition a male may have.

And I have one thing to say to all females (and any males reading this lol).

BE CONFIDENT!

For if you let The Evil of Negativity come into your life, it will be hard to let go of it.

Us women, me speaking from my own perspective, have had this idea ingrained in our head that because we were created from or after men, that we are not the original model, that we do not hold as much importance. Well I’m here to say this is a lie.

Me being a Christian, using the analogy of The Garden of Eden, see it as both man and woman, being incomplete without the other. Therefore, both, working in harmony, will make one full complete being.

So just as men should be proud of their sexuality, so should women.

Be confident even in your emotions, don’t pay heed to the guy that’s telling you you’re too overemotional when he insults you, rather know your own mind, your own actions and your own intentions.

Love yourself, love your mind and love God.

And by loving yourself I’m also referring to what kind of guys you let enter your life.

Guys, males, need us, hence why God had to create us, he knew something was missing. So rather than you feeling like something is missing, just know that everything you’re looking for is really in you and that a man should add to you, not subtract.

Which is why I implore girls to love themselves. See yourselves as a beautiful room locked away in a castle full of millions of rooms. This room is you. Adorn and decorate this room. Beautify it and cleanse it. Organize it and maintain it. And do not allow people to come and destroy, damage or steal the precious possessions you have locked away in this room, for Proverbs 31 says ‘A capable, intelligent, and virtuous woman–who is he who can find her? She is far more precious than jewels and her value is far above rubies or pearls’. This is how I GENUINELY think every female should see themselves, this would help us guard our hearts and emotions, that are so susceptible to pain and hurt.

Okay.

I’m done.

As you can see I had a crazy year lol

I hope you enjoyed my post 😀

Love you all!

Ciao!

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