Tag Archives: Dissociation

Undine

Even when I rise up from the abyss
Like the Queen of the Damned
I shall not know my place
And will choose to vacate any place that moves me
Wherever the water takes me
I’ll let it breathe right through me
And bring me to life

Even when I am near death
And seaweed hangs from my head
My hair loc’ing and molding
I shall simply cut it off

I have no more place for burdens.

For I have been to the earthy rocks and the mountains
Only to see the rock hard and I am not like them
Pushing obstacle off of cliffs, instead of bypassing them

So I went to the other half of me, The Sea
And understood I needed to breathe from within
To not allow my mind to drown me

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Dream Error 404

It’s pitch white

Too bright to see a thing

And their laughter surrounds me

Weakening me at the knees

I can barely breathe

 

Every laugh they make

Is a step my feet falter to make

All that is before me disappears

My dreams, nothing but fantasies I can’t recreate

So the whispers grow stronger, as my mind regurgitates all that is before it

 

No soul. No hate.

 

And yet I force myself to move, before I am late

Family values and niceties await me

I’ll come back to face my fears later

But first, let me dress right.

 

I’d rather evoke envy than become prey.

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A Fallacy Truly Pathetic

Jesus.

I wonder if that’s an expletive or a prayer
Or both.

Tired of the insecurity of the awareness and the sweat on my chest

A mental workout that stresses my soul
Makes me feel less whole and tired of this hole

They say the world is whole
So why do so many missing pieces appear in my soul

Makes me too tired to re-energise these trees within me

Make my skin clammy without any respite of a sea

I despair at its meager embrace

Yet many tell me to be thankful.

The responsibility of my life was not a choice and yet I am meant to be grateful.

A bitter laugh I resist because that may just end up showing my semblance of hate for you.

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Sylvia’s Basement

A basement below a fully thriving household; a crack exists to let in the light

The inhabitants of the whole street are seen and heard but are unaware of the presence that surveys them.

In this dark, dingy basement, where death is constantly in the air and ruminating in the bones of this isolated individual.

She has lost all feeling, all 5 senses and has become part of the decor

Fading away in the shadows; personality lost to the darkness.

 

The Queen of her darkness killed her. Dragged her by the hair till she was bald; beaten by demons till her skin was bruised inside and out.

 

Her unwanted or unnoticed presence to be tolerated only by her strangling thoughts

Self deprecation is her everlasting presence

 

She wonders if stepping out of this foundation will make her a whole person. Or will its existence always haunt her.

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White Coats

“Take this” they say

Skeletons with no duty but to prey

 

Drug pushers universally recognised as angels

Skeletons in an angel’s disguise

But my mother can only tell me to pray.

 

“This will help” they say

Lifeless smiles and empty eye sockets

The only crack is when the irritation shows

 

So I drown in this Euphoric Powder

Reaching heights of lucid bliss and the depths of concrete evil coupled with self loathing

 

With the whispers of those skeletons egging me on

Agreeing with my subtle confusion

 

This Powder used to form clay and then slowly another version of me; to replace this morose face you usually see

Pandering to this concept of ‘me’

 

Agitation, the reimagining of all the things that caused me pain

A brighter day, even if there was no sunlight

Eyes would work like x-rays

The skeletons had finally gotten their way

 

Until the whisper fades and the young girl cries

The clay is broken; soul was woken

And the pretentious skeleton dies.

 

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