Mansion of Mirrors

It’s a tiresome thing when you only question yourself due to the presence of others

When the honest truth is you fight so hard to fade yourself out of existence

When you try to look so deep in yourself,  you hope to lose yourself within yourself

But who would have thought losing yourself would cause an instability with your reality

 

A loss greater than any memory or any limb

Leaving you restless and uncomfortable

More self conscious of your existence than before the time you let yourself go

 

So you create different rooms in this house that represent your life

 

But after dancing and partying in them uninhibited, you find they are threadbare and badly furnished

And those that are appealing are adorned with tawdry goods

 

So you continue to wonder in this house, that by way of your mind, soon becomes a derelict mansion

 

Filled with ghosts of past lovers and friends

Gilded paintings that have trapped memories of your life, hang on tarnished and wrinkling wallpaper

 

Even so, I often wonder if I shall one day leave this house all together

Or make an effort to refurbish it

The choice doesn’t feel like it lies with me…

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